What Defines You

I just finished up my junior, should of been senior, year of college. Let my just say, thank god it’s over. This past school year a domino effect of negative events occurred in my life. I began the school year with my best friend getting pregnant and the piece of shit dad leaving her to be alone. Then me leaving her to be alone because I need to live two hours away for school. She ended up getting an abortion, and you think I would have learned from her experience. Nope.

It was just three months later when I learned I was pregnant and made the decision to get an abortion. My abortion was just the beginning of my domino effect. My health began to get in question when I found a tumor in my breast, my own personal issues within my family, and then more health illnesses with my digestion. This, along with many things made me fall into the worst depression of my life. I didn’t want to do anything or talk to anyone. I cried everyday. I have never felt so much pain in my life – and it was all mental.

My life was a mess – but I was enrolled in 15 credits at my university. One can imagine my grades could not of been great and they weren’t. But I believe my grades do not define me. No I didn’t get all A’s and B’s, but I was still able to pass all my classes. I was still able to show up for almost all my classes and participate in lab. I cried through many classes, but I didn’t care what people thought. I was in so much pain and numb to the world. But compared to the other students – I’d say I have more drive and determination to do well. So many students would skip class. I don’t know what their reasons were, but I feel they weren’t too serious. I felt they took advantage of the professors¬† and whoever was paying for their schooling. I had a thousand reasons to skip but I rarely did. I sucked it up and went, I knew I could breakdown when I got home.

A few teachers saw something in me and really helped me with all that I was going through. They would meet with me before every test to make sure I understand the material. I could not thank my professors enough,  Dr. Rose in particular. I would never of gotten through this year without them. It makes me happy to know that there is some people out there who understand what women go through after an abortion and are so willing to help. I hope I can take the strength they helped me gain and help more women with their post abortion depression.